Ugly Little Birds

Look at the birds. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren't you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? Matthew 6: 26, 27

Some young girls found this nest of baby birds in a hedge outside of my office building. I had never seen such small birds up close before. They certainly will not win any beauty contests. In fact, these featherless, scrawny, no eyed things are probably beautiful to only one thing, their mother. It is hard to imagine that not too long from now, they will be adult birds with feathers flying and doing what they were created to do. But their mother doesn't care, she cares for them knowing they are more than what they look like right now. Right now, they are helpless. As we peeked in at them, they stretched out their necks and opened their mouths wide. Expectantly waiting for their mother to return with food, an act of faith since they couldn't see what had made the air move around them.

As I thought about these little birds, I was reminded about Jesus' words in Matthew 6. Jesus uses the birds to remind us of God's love and provision for us. And I thought about how I can be a scrawny, naked, no eyed creature, yet God promises to take care of me. Just like the Mother bird, God cares for and protects me even when I look nothing like the child he created me to be. It is a great mystery to understand God's provision of us, his creation which so often falls short. And also, just like the little birds who trust in their mother's provision. All I must do is wait expectantly for God to take care of my needs. He requires nothing of me. Yet, another mystery of God's amazing grace. These birdies may be so ugly only a mother could love them. But in the end, they point to a gift so wonderful I can't see them as anything but beautiful.


 

 

Seeing Out of the Box

Every Mom is given a special gift. It is bestowed upon women when their children are young and is seen as a great gift by her family. It is the gift of sight. I remember as a kid, Mom seemed to have eyes in the back of her head and eyes that could see through walls and doors. How else could she walk in right as I was holding the scissors to cut the hair of her antique doll? Or how could she know my brother and I were sneaking cookies out of the freezer? I was in awe of this special gift but the one I was most in awe of was her ability to find things that were lost. I would search and search for something. She would walk into my room. Glance quickly and say, "If it was a snake it would have bit you." Hand me what I was looking for and walk back out. I stood with my mouth open wondering just how she did it.

Of course, somehow I was bestowed the same gift when I had children. I find myself repeating my Mom's words and telling my kids to "open your eyes, its right in front of you!" But still they can't see it. Perhaps it is not a gift of Mom's but a slow maturing skill of youth. Whatever it is, sometimes when I hear Jesus speak to his disciples, I think he sounds like a Mom trying to make them open their eyes and understand. Jesus saw the world with the eyes of the Messiah, God's son. In the Gospels, we see him trying to teach the disciples there is more around them than meets the eye. He was trying to get the disciples to see outside of their box. And as believers, he is also trying to get us to look outside of our small understanding of the world and to see a much bigger reality.

In the first four chapters of John, we see Jesus expanding the vision of the disciples and other witnesses at the Cleansing of the Temple. "Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up." Or with Nicodemus. "I assure you, unless you are born again, you can never see the Kingdom of God." Then again with the Samaritan woman. "But the water I give takes away thirst altogether." These statements make no sense when viewed within earth's framework. But Jesus is pointing to God's Kingdom and calling those who believe to see something more than what is in front of their eyes. In all of the Gospels, Jesus chastises those around him for not understanding what he is pointing to, something outside the box. He challenges the disciples to open their eyes.

For me, I know when I was living away from God I lost the vision I once knew. When the Spirit within me is leading me, I see things differently. I see the needs of others, not just my own needs. I understand my own attitudes as sinful where before I justified them as necessary. Things I hadn't seen before are now clear as day. Just as Jesus called his disciples to look beyond the earth and themselves, the Spirit leads me to see beyond my own limited world. We need Kingdom eyes, not earthly eyes in order to see all the glorious gifts God has given us which "if they were a snake just might bite us."

For further reading: 1 Corinthians 13:12; Mark 4:10-13

When Job Prayed

Over the past few years, I have skimmed through Job. He is my model for facing the tragedies of life. Ever since I lost what I feared losing the most, Job's story has resonated with me. But my focus has been on how he dealt with what he lost and not on what happens in the final chapter. After all, I knew the end of the story and being cynical or superstitious didn't want to expect my own life to be blessed like Job's. However, as I read and not skimmed the final chapter, I was surprised by two verses.

"I had heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes. I take back everything I said, and I sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance." (Job 42:5)

Job's words throughout the entire book seemed to mirror my own as I struggled to understand why things have happened in my own life. Why didn't God step in and protect my children from the pain they have endured? Why didn't God protect those who served Him? Even though much of the pain endured was the result of sin, couldn't Almighty God have brought about change and redemption at any point? Couldn't He have restored relationships and changed lives?

In the end, Job has his moment before God and God puts him in his place. The questions of why are not the right questions. Rather, it is the question of "whom." It is not about why God allowed things to happen but about who God is. For me, I have come full circle with God, too. After a couple of years of railing at Him with questions and asking for explanations, I have come to a point where those things are no longer needed. For in the presence of the all powerful and all merciful God the only thing that matters is knowing He is in control. And like Job I can say, "I had heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes. I take back everything I said, and I sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance." (Job 42:6). In acknowledging God's control, I let go of the burden of understanding and rejoice in the assurance God will never abandon me.

In the past, I thought it was these words out of Job's mouth that sparked the beginning of God restoring his fortunes. But as I read closer I discovered something very different. God rebukes the friends who had argued with Job and required them to make a special sacrifice. And then God instructs Job to pray for his friends who have spoken incorrectly. It is at this point where God begins to bless Job.

"When Job prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes. In fact, the Lord gave him twice as much as before!" (Job 42:10)

Job's blessing is tied to prayer and not just prayers for himself but prayers for others. For 41 chapters, Job is most concerned about himself and why the tragedy happened. He laments that he didn't deserve such anguish and pain. He wonders why and how he will continue to live in such misery. In chapter 42, we see how Job is re-oriented and the focus moves from himself, to God and then to others. In my own life, I see how God's healing touch has shown me the same thing. When I don't worry about the reasons and accept my place in God's care, the focus moves from myself and onto others.

For Job, it is a two-fold action. First, he prays for those he feels anger toward. These so-called friends called him a liar and told him he deserved to receive the pain he endured. These friends didn't provide comfort for him but added to his pain. So like Jesus will later suggest, Job is asked to pray for those who might be seen as enemies. This is a difficult task for anyone. For myself, it is through God's power alone and in submission to his leading that I can pray for those who have caused pain to me or my family. It has only been recently I have been able to say even the simplest prayer for the ones who have hurt me. And it is only when I am trusting God is in control that I can even think about it.

Second, Job is asked to move outside of his own need and pray for the needs of others. He is called to mediate between God and his friends and bring them right in their relationship with God. Before my divorce, I loved praying for others. It was an honor and a joy to intercede for others, lifting up the needs of others to God. After, I could barely say the simplest of prayers and couldn't pray for anyone. It has been a great joy to me that this love of intercession is returning to my life. I find great joy in praying for others again. I lift up my kids, my friends, and others to God. I pray as I fall asleep and as I awake in the mornings. I honestly thought I would never pray for others again. Now, it feels like a miracle that the desire has returned. God is good.

I would never presume that I will now know the same abundant blessing that God showed Job. Rather, I see Job as a fellow sojourner on a road to healing and wholeness. Healing from bitterness and anger is an enormous blessing alone, how could I ask for more? I have seen God with my own eyes, what more could I ask for? God is good and God is faithful. He is in control.

 

 

Leaving the Water Jar Behind

"The woman left her water jar beside the well and went back to the village . . ." John 4:18

The woman at the well is one of my favorite Bible stories. And I heard an excellent sermon on it yesterday at church. She is like an old friend who I look forward to hearing from again every now and then. No matter how many times I read it, I am intrigued by this lost woman who is found by Jesus. Her life transformed by an ordinary encounter with the extraordinary Christ. Chuck pointed out a line I had never really noticed In his sermon. "The woman left her water jar beside the well and went back to the village." A wonderful visual image of a life forever changed, but it made the practical side of myself come out.

"So what will she do when she needs water tonight to wash the dishes?" I thought, "Sure living water is great for quenching the thirsting soul, but our bodies still need physical water too." And even though she was changed inside, she still lived with a man who wasn't her husband. Leaving him would mean leaving her only means of support and security. It wasn't like she could pack up her belongings and make a way in the world on her own now.

Sometimes I wish the Bible told the stories of the people after they encountered Jesus. Sort of like a Biblical "Where are they Now?" What happened when life turned back to the ordinary? What happened after the Messiah left and the circumstances stayed the same? The challenge for the people Jesus touched in the Bible was no different than the challenges we face in living our lives. How do you maintain the changes brought about by an encounter with Jesus in our imperfect lives? Every Sunday I leave church with high ideals of a life made different by what I have heard and before I know it Monday morning is here and it all flies out the window. How can I leave the water jar behind when I still need water from the well to survive?

For me, I have learned some tricks which help me when the old ways call me back or when I must face the challenge of changing an old, well worn pattern.

1. Recognize the old patterns for what they are – ineffective and destructive. In my own life, when I compare myself to others, I start slipping down the slippery slope into despair. By recognizing what I am doing before I slip too far, I am able to stop the descent and be open to more life giving thoughts.
   
2. Think on what is good and life giving. I have found I need to be concrete in the beginning when I am trying to change my negative thoughts. So I keep scratch paper close by and write repeatedly the positive things I want to remember. Often it is things like: "I am loved, I am valuable, I am God's child" Or it can be scripture or parts of scripture: "God will Provide"
   
3. Fight the good fight and don't give up. This battle can seem to go on and on and on. Sometimes I am tempted to believe I can't win and the old pattern is not really that bad. But then I am reminded not to settle for the old which wasn't enough. It is the water that cannot quench my thirst rather than the living water which will always satisfy me.
   

The woman at the well had to return to her life after Jesus left. While she was transformed by that encounter, she returned to the same house, the same man and the same village. It couldn't have been easy for her. Just like it isn't always easy for us when we know the new way is better but the old way is easier. I have listed a few things that have helped me. But I know there are many more. What are some ways to keep the new and transform the old?

The Lord’s Armies Defied

"Who is this pagan Philistine anyway, that he is allowed to defy the armies of the living God?"

1Samuel 17:26 (NLT)

 

David's words are so innocent. Even when I know the end of the story, I am struck by his naïve statement. His youth blinds him from the reality that bad things happen even to God's army. Isn't that true? An experienced warrior knows some battles are just not won. Good soldiers are lost at the hand of the enemy. And no matter how strong the faith or pure the quest, the armies of the living God will be defied. The battle- wearied among us don't hear a childlike faith but a silly child who in time will be beaten down like the rest of us.

Someone suggested I was melancholy recently. I replied I didn't think I was melancholy but rather just a realist. Bad stuff happens and choosing to admit the truth rather than pretend all is well seems like the wise way to live my life. Yes, at this time in my life, there have been a lot of bad things happening. To say divorce is an awful thing is an understatement. Every aspect of my life has been affected by the end of my marriage. This dark night has continued and the pain multiplied by the struggling of my children.

In the midst of this darkness, well-meaning and loving friends tell me of God's redeeming power. And tell me this pain is not for naught but that God will do a mighty work in and through and because of this pain. And out comes my melancholy realism. How is God going to bless me? Why couldn't he bless my marriage? What can be done when I feel so weak and the mountain so high? The words seem as empty and naïve as David's did to the soldiers who stood before the Giant Goliath. "Silly boy, if you only knew how life really was? You wouldn't speak such silly words."

And yet, I am beginning to think I need to be thinking more like David now and not my usually melancholy self. I am still for realism – yes, this dark night has been awful, terrible. It is something I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. And yet, how can I sit back and allow the ugliness of these depths defy the living God?

"What is this divorce anyway, that it is allowed to defy the armies of the living God?"

If I don't stand up against this giant in my life, I run the risk of the evil winning. Isn't that why David acted? He couldn't bear the thought of the living God being shown as anything but the victor He was. If I don't stand up to this enemy in my own life, how will God ever be glorified? And if I don't want my life to be defined by this dark night, I must stand up against it and fight for God's glory to be shown. So

"everyone will know that the Lord does not need weapons to rescue his people. It is his battle, not ours. The Lord will give you to us!"

1Samuel 17:47oHo

The Strength to be Content

Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.  For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.   Philippians 4:10-13

Twenty five years ago, I learned an important truth while taking New Testament 101 under Dr. George Knox. Amongst the study of concepts and the memorization of important passages, I learned the importance of context in regard to understanding scripture. Basically, we learned that a passage cannot mean something different than what it originally meant in the context of the verses around it. Ever since, the misuse of context has annoyed me.

Ironically, one of the most quoted passages from the New Testament is often taken out of context.  It is a temptation to use this short and sweet passage which is high on inspiration to encourage us to succeed at whatever we attempt.

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13

 These words can be found on mugs, pens and posters. We hear it in the context of commencement speeches and in pep talks. And I can't disagree, God does promise to give us strength in our weakness. Yet, Paul shared these words with the Philippians in relation to something very specific, the strength to be content.

Is strength really needed for contentment? I had never really thought about it until I looked at the verse in its context. Paul is speaking about how he has learned to accept whatever circumstance he has been placed in. He says, "I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little." But how does this require strength?  Is it hard to be content when you have plenty? Is verse 13 only referring to the living in want part?

Recently, it dawned on me that I don't need strength to find contentment. As if it is something to be grasped or created. Instead, what I need to finally feel content is the strength to let go of what I think I need. I can be content when I live in plenty only if I give my need to keep what I already have. Because if I live in the fear of losing it, I am not living contentedly. And if when I am in want, I can't be content as long as I am striving for me.

This is a different way of looking at it, we don't need strength to either get more or live on less. We need Christ's strength to surrender control of our lives and accept what is given to us. So that we neither strive for more or worry and fret over what might be lost. And personally, the hardest thing to surrender in my own life is control.

As I learned long ago, sometimes a passage is much easier to like out of its context than when it is looked at in its context. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. But in the end, will I actually be willing to do all the things Christ calls me to do.

Ties that Bind

Everyone seems to have a bucket list these days. These life "to do" lists are often filled with things like sky diving or visiting the Great Wall of China. Personally, I haven't felt the need to have a bucket list. I am not sure why. Perhaps I am a big chicken and don't look for an excuse to practice risky behavior like sky diving or bungee jumping.  Or perhaps I don't want my life summed up by a list of destinations or activities. Or more likely, perhaps I don't want to come to the end of the list and find out there is nothing keeping me here. As if what binds me to earth is a cosmic "to do" list and after I check off the last item I will instantaneously find myself in God's presence in heaven.

While I might not have a bucket list binding me to earth, I do hold tightly to things that bind me from experiencing God's presence on earth.  A life "to do" list filled with things like bitterness, revenge, anger, and pride. I hold onto these attitudes and dream of the day the come to fruition. The day the one who betrayed me feels the sting of abandonment. Or the moment when the one who always wins sees the look of victory in my eyes and knows the agony of defeat. The thought of these moments bring a rush of adrenalin to me as if I had just jumped out of a plane. Yet, truth be told, they really just rob me of the joy and peace God has promised me here on earth.

The second list is a stumbling block to my faith. Jesus cleared the temple of the merchants and money changers who made it difficult for the people to worship God. Both are distractions which rob us of the relationship we were created to have with our Heavenly Father. Obstacles created to protect our own interests rather than seeking the interests of God. A list grown out of my own selfish needs and for our own gain rather than the interest of others.  I need to ask Jesus to cleanse this temple as he did the one in Jerusalem. Or maybe I just need to clean my own house.

A bucket list can be a good thing. It can encourage us to live life to the fullest and create goals for ourselves. The other kind of "to do" list serves no purpose but to squelch life and rob us of the life God intended for us. So maybe I need to make a bucket list:

1. Forgive the ones who have hurt me the most
2. Let go of bitterness of past hurts
3. Cheer for the one I envy
4. Pray for the ones who plot against me
5. Bungee Jump

Ok, I will never do the final one, a little insurance for a long life.