Saturday, September 11, 2010

God will Provide, God will Provide For Me

God will provide. God will provide.God will provide for me. God will provide for me.

Not too long ago, I found myself writing these words over and over again in my journal. Like the sentences I had to write in elementary school when I forgot to turn in my homework, I filled a page with these words. Over and over again, I looped the letters and scratched the ink on the page in an effort to end the anxious thoughts in my mind and the burning feeling in my stomach.

God will provide. God will provide. God will provide for me. God will provide for me.

I have a hard time trusting God at his word. He promises to provide for us and I can recount innumerable times that He has provided for me and my family in miraculous ways. Yet, I still wonder when and if my hopes and dreams will ever come to true. I lament the things I lack and I long for an easier life. If God will provide the desires of my heart, where exactly are they?

God will provide. God will provide. God will provide for me. God will provide for me.

Isn’t there a passage in the Bible – “God helps those who help themselves?”Of course not, Dr. Knox would be disappointed in me and my Bible College degree if I made that mistake. However, I often live my life by that phrase rather than by trusting God as my provider. Instead of waiting for God to provide, I forge ahead trying to make sure things happen the way I want them to.

I will provide God is absent. I will provide God acts too slowly.

Abraham’s faith in God’s provision has always impressed me. When God asked Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac, the one who he loved so much, Abraham’s response was to trust God. When Isaac asked where the sacrifice was since he was a smart boy and knew something was missing. Abraham replied

“God will provide a lamb, my son.” “God will provide a lamb, my son."

If I was Abraham, my response would have been to stop by the local Sacrifice Depot and purchase my own do-it-yourself sacrifice kit, lamb included. Just in case God forgot to provide a suitable sacrifice to replace Isaac. It never hurts to have a back-up plan when God doesn’t follow through with his promise. Ok, so maybe it’s not a good idea. But it is the honest response because Abraham’s response seems super-human to me.

“God will provide a lamb, my son.” “God will provide a lamb, my son.”

If I am honest, my feeble attempts to get what I need often turn out as a mess. Bad relationships, dead end turns, lots of energy expended with no results, time wasted.However, Abraham was blessed when he trusted God to provide. When Abraham willingly let go of his son whom he loved, God told him,

“I will bless you richly. I will multiply your descendants into countless millions, like the stars of the sky and the sand on the seashore.”

What am I holding onto rather than letting God control? What am I trying to control when I should be letting God lead? And how can I find a faith as strong as Abraham’s? What blessings are in store for me when I stop trying so hard and trust? Can I give up my dreams and trust God to lead me to His will? I think I better keep scratching those words in my notebook.

God will provide. God will provide. God will provide for me. God will provide for me.