Singing with Dad

My earliest memories in the cab of my Dad’s truck singing old hymns. I loved climbing up in the cab and sitting beside him while he sang.

“There’s within my heart a melody. . .” his baritone voice bellowed.

He was not a trained singer but to my young ears his was the most beautiful voice in the world. Those old hymns remain among my favorites; In the Garden, Just a Closer Walk with Thee, I Love to Tell the Story, and The Old Rugged Cross. I first learned about Jesus and his love for me listening to Dad sing. The singing together stopped as I grew older. Looking back I know that chronic back pain took away many things. And over the past few years, Parkinson’s robbed him of much more. Conversations became difficult and tired Dad out. So when I was planning my visit with Dad last summer it became important to me that I would sing for Dad.

I purchased a ukulele and had it shipped to my folks so it was waiting for me when I arrived. It was a pleasure to spend a little bit of each day singing for Dad. Emily joined in and we sang songs at his request. One of the songs he requested was Just As I Am. What a joy to share with him the songs that meant so much to him.

Ten days ago, it became evident that Dad’s body had reached its limit. The end was coming and I knew what I wanted to do. I couldn’t travel out to be with him at his bedside but I could sing one last time for him. And so I did, I would have liked to sing more for him but I created a couple of videos for him. My family played it for him on their phones. Dad sang music into me and I wanted music to be part of my good bye to him.

Dad passed on Friday, January 16, 2015. He was surrounded by family and peacefully left the pain of this life behind. Sing on, Dad. I love you.

Calming the Savage Beast - Some Thoughts on Anxious Thoughts

      Do you ever feel guilty for complaining or worrying about something? Today I’m anxious about a couple of things. I’m trying to patiently wait to hear about 2 different job interviews.  In the grand scheme of things, employment can be a big ticket item. After all, it is necessary for most people to be employed in order to provide for themselves and their families.  So I feel at least a little justified for the worry. 

      But then I hear about other people’s troubles: young mothers facing serious health problems, families mourning the loss of dear ones, heads of households staring layoffs and unemployment in the face. Suddenly, my problems seem so much smaller. While I want to change jobs, and I even feel called by God to change jobs, I am currently employed.  I don’t lack for anything, my family is healthy for the most part. Now I feel anxious about feeling anxious and the fun really starts. 

     Lately, when I feel anxious and nothing else seems to calm my spirit, I grab my guitar and sing. Music has always calmed the savage beast that rages inside me in these anxious moments. But some places are harder to sing my heart out in than others. I’m not sure my cube-mates at work would appreciate it. Or maybe it would make for a less stressed workplace all around. At work, I put my headphones on, queue up a Youtube video of one of my favorite songs and try to keep myself from singing along. Not the same as singing myself, but as they say “it’ll do in a pinch.”

     Here's one of my favorites: Heather Berry singing "God on the Mountain" (click on the title to follow the link)

     How do you calm the savage beast of anxious thoughts?  Bible verses? Exercise? It never hurts to have a trunk full of options when facing anxious thoughts, without the proper preparation even the the strongest person can be overcome.