My kids and I have watched the new show "Minute to Win It" a few times over the last month. If you haven't seen the show it is on Sunday nights on NBC. Contestants perform a series of tasks each lasting one minute and after successfully completing so many can win a bunch of money. The tasks give me flashbacks to the games I culled from Youth Specialties books in the 90's for youth group activities. Household items are used in challenges that are more about thoughtful and logical action than about strength or physical prowess. A cast of very ordinary people, a timer counting down and hope for a "regular joe" making it big, make the show watchable at least once.
One of the challenges has the contestant keeping two feathers in the air for 60 seconds by blowing them in the air. In a Pavlovian way, my stomach clenches more for this task than any other that I have watched. At first, the feathers float gently through the air and as long as the contestant can keep the feathers above her head, it seems like an effortless task. However, as soon as one feather floats below her shoulder, all hope is loss and she begins running around trying to keep the feathers in the air.
I think my extra reaction to this trivial task stems from the fact that the task reminds me of my own life. I am keeping many more than two feathers in the air at all times. I am a Mom, an employee, a homeowner, a friend, etc. All of these feathers float above me and sometimes it feels effortless to keep them there. But then something changes and one feather needs more attention than another. And the as one dips down, my life becomes chaotic as I try to play "catch up." Soon all the feathers are falling and I am running around like a chicken with her head cut off.
For the past month, this is the image of my life. The feathers are falling and I am unable to keep up. For a single Mom, it feels especially lonely in this place. And I cannot claim success in either keeping the feathers a float or not breaking down in a tantrum of "it's not fair" feet stomping. However, in a precious quiet moment this morning, I can make a couple of observations.
1) Friends are invaluable. Self-sufficiency is both my blessing and my curse. It becomes a matter of pride for me that I prove to the doubters in my life that I can do all of this on my own. And I will sacrifice my own sense of self worth and physical health to prove I am capable. But I have learned in the past 3 years, that going it alone is not a show of strength but a show of my own pride and ignorance. I am thankful for my friends here in Pittsburgh who have stepped in to help me. And I am thankful for my friends around the country who have propped me up in many ways even without being here.
2) Success is relative and sometimes not easily seen. On the game show, when the timer counts down to zero with the feathers still in the air, the audience erupts in applause and the contestant celebrates. In life, we don't get many of these highly visible moments of success. And sometimes the successes are not visible on the outside. They are small things like replacing the seat on the commode by myself (I actually took pictures) or seeing your child smile at the dinner table. And often the victories are unnoticed with no chance for applause or celebration. No matter how quiet or small, a success is a success.
3) Its all in the steps. The trick to the game is to keeping the feathers afloat one breath at a time. Losing focus can mean disaster and it is not possible to make the timer move faster or thinking beyond the next breath. And I am learning that with each challenge, its about focusing on the next step and not the journey's end. The feathers will float on their own whim. So a well choreographed plan can't be made, you go where the feathers take you. And life is often like that, I can make a plan to reach a goal. But things change and I have to adapt. Focusing on the next step and trusting that it will take us where we need to be is the key to success or at least my sanity.
4) God is more than enough. I have come to discover that when I feel like saying "Enough is enough" God says He is more than enough. So things are not what I had planned when I was 18 and my kids have had to face more challenges at their ages than some ever face in their lives but God is still in control. I am angry and I can be bitter but it gets me no way. God has been faithful and has never abandoned us. And that gives me hope that even if life contains more challenges than moments of victory, God will hold me close. And there is joy in this crazy journey.
In the end, I have come to figure out that I don't have to fear the feathers falling. When the final buzzer rings, the applause will be no more or less whether the feathers fell to the ground or stayed in the air. Because the goal is not about keeping everything afloat but about trusting the One who will never let me fall, sharing each other's loads and loving those around me. And that is enough for me.
Great post, Fara. Well said.
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