Ties that Bind

Everyone seems to have a bucket list these days. These life "to do" lists are often filled with things like sky diving or visiting the Great Wall of China. Personally, I haven't felt the need to have a bucket list. I am not sure why. Perhaps I am a big chicken and don't look for an excuse to practice risky behavior like sky diving or bungee jumping.  Or perhaps I don't want my life summed up by a list of destinations or activities. Or more likely, perhaps I don't want to come to the end of the list and find out there is nothing keeping me here. As if what binds me to earth is a cosmic "to do" list and after I check off the last item I will instantaneously find myself in God's presence in heaven.

While I might not have a bucket list binding me to earth, I do hold tightly to things that bind me from experiencing God's presence on earth.  A life "to do" list filled with things like bitterness, revenge, anger, and pride. I hold onto these attitudes and dream of the day the come to fruition. The day the one who betrayed me feels the sting of abandonment. Or the moment when the one who always wins sees the look of victory in my eyes and knows the agony of defeat. The thought of these moments bring a rush of adrenalin to me as if I had just jumped out of a plane. Yet, truth be told, they really just rob me of the joy and peace God has promised me here on earth.

The second list is a stumbling block to my faith. Jesus cleared the temple of the merchants and money changers who made it difficult for the people to worship God. Both are distractions which rob us of the relationship we were created to have with our Heavenly Father. Obstacles created to protect our own interests rather than seeking the interests of God. A list grown out of my own selfish needs and for our own gain rather than the interest of others.  I need to ask Jesus to cleanse this temple as he did the one in Jerusalem. Or maybe I just need to clean my own house.

A bucket list can be a good thing. It can encourage us to live life to the fullest and create goals for ourselves. The other kind of "to do" list serves no purpose but to squelch life and rob us of the life God intended for us. So maybe I need to make a bucket list:

1. Forgive the ones who have hurt me the most
2. Let go of bitterness of past hurts
3. Cheer for the one I envy
4. Pray for the ones who plot against me
5. Bungee Jump

Ok, I will never do the final one, a little insurance for a long life.