Beginning All Over Instantly

Many years ago, we hosted a small group bible study in our home. At the time we were having plumbing trouble in our upstairs bathroom. The shower would leak and we hadn't yet figured out where the leak was coming from. As we were wrapping up our study, something caught my eye high on the wall, a very large "bubble" was forming in the paint. Before I knew it water was squirting out of the bubble and our study ended abruptly.

Water will travel the path of least resistance which is downward and will work its way into the smallest of cracks. This is a truth that cannot be denied. I will assert that my thought patterns are no different. No matter how much I would wish it to be different, my thoughts often travel the well worn path of least resistance and lead me to the same place every time. When I began my experiment at the beginning of the month, I had high hopes of changing these patterns. Twenty six days in, I will have to admit the results are truly mixed.

I knew the inherent risks of sharing this with others. When I admitted to even one person I was trying to seek continually God's presence, I opened myself up to both encouragement and criticism. I believe it was the right thing to do as I know it benefited me and I humbly, hoped it would benefit others. After all, I am not a spiritual superpower, rather I am pretty ordinary. Basically, if I could find benefit in this endeavor, I hoped others might be inspired to try it also.

And it has not been easy. I have experienced both great highs and massive lows. I have succeeded in seeking God more this month, but the truth is, that wouldn't have taken much effort.  After my divorce, I almost left my faith behind with my marriage, so God hasn't been a wanted part of my life for some time. The past week has been particularly challenging, I have searched for someone else rather than God.  I have fallen back into the old patterns which destroy rather than build up. But once again, I have found solace in the words of Frank Laubach,

"It is dangerous to tell people, and yet, I must tell and I must start over now and succeed. This philosophy that one can begin all over instantly at any moment, is proving of great help." (Letters from a Modern Mystic)

 What a wonderful thing grace is - we can begin all over instantly at any moment. Frank shared his own struggle with not living up to his expectations and wondering what others must think of his failures. Yet, he states a great and glorious truth we often forget, "one can begin all over instantly at any moment." This is a tough thing to remember when I would rather beat myself up for my failures. But deep inside, I know it is true and I rejoice that God is not a "one and done" God but is a patient and loving Father who helps me along at each and every step. So I will pick myself up, dust off the old once again and begin all over again one more time.